GRE作文点评:Effective writing

时间:浏览:4
GRE网发布GRE作文点评:Effective writing  ,更多GRE作文点评相关信息请访问中国考试网GRE留学外语考试频道  。

  5 A 5 paper presents a well-developed analysis of the complexities of the issue and demonstrates a strong control of the elements of effective writing.

  看着这个标准觉不觉得似曾相识呢  ?是的  ,和6分作文的差距只是三个词  ,六分作文要求的是cogent ,well-articulated analysis,还有对语言的要求是mastery of the elements of effective wrting.








  附六分相应的标准:

  A 6 paper presents a cogent, well-articulated analysis of the complexities of the issue and demonstrates mastery of the elements of effective writing.

  但是大家注意到没有  ,ETS对二者的共同要求都是: effective writing.这里我问一个问题  ,大家对这个好象是似乎是理解的  ,但是谁可以给我一个确切的effective writing的答案  ?到底什么是effective writing?他有什么样的特点  ?运用什么样的devices才可以让我的writing变得effective?这个答案我有  ,但是我想让大家自问一下然后跟贴写出自己的理解来  ,这个题目的讨论结束后我会给大家一个确切的答案  。ETS的标准写的似乎很简单明了  ,但是实际上里面的陷阱不少  。

  SAMPLE-2 (score 5)

  Specialists are not overrated today.开篇的第一句就和6分作文有差距了 。More generalists may be needed, but not to overshadow the specialists. Generalists can provide a great deal of information on many topics of interest with a broad range of ideas. People who look at the overall view of things can help with some of the large problems our society faces today. But specialists are necessary to gain a better understanding of more in depth methods to solve problems or fixing things.

  看完了这个开头部分 ,大家再想想昨天评过的6分文章  ,差距就是差距啊  ,这个1分的差距还很大呢  。这个5分的例文显然就没有6分的简介一针见血的感觉  。而且语言不够简练  。这个文章开头的general statement就只是解释了对topic的理解 ,不够深刻 。而且这第一段的最后三句话完全可以变成一句话用定语从句套着来写  ,这样句式也就相对的复杂多了  ,也简洁多了 。这个看起来  ,这个开头  ,只能说是刚跳出了个4分的高度  ,如果后面文章的结构组织的好并且事例充足或者论证的比较严密还是可以达到个4 。5---5  。5的  ,但是6分这个的开头是基本没希望咯  。

  One good example of why specialists are not overrated is in the medical field.圈了个范围开始例证specialist的重要了  。Doctors are necessary for people to live healthy lives. When a person is sick, he may go to a general practitioner to find out the cause of his problems. Usually, this kind of "generalized" doctor can help most ailments with simple and effective treatments. Sometimes, though, a sickness may go beyond a family doctor's knowledge or the prescribed treatments don't work the way they should. When a sickness progresses or becomes diagnosed as a disease that requires more care than a family doctor can provide, he may be referred to a specialist. For instance, a person with constant breathing problems that require hospitalization may be suggested to visit an asthma specialist. Since a family doctor has a great deal of knowledge of medicine, he can decide when his methods are not effective and the patient needs to see someone who knows more about the specific problem; someone who knows how it begins, progresses, and specified treatments. This is an excellent example of how a generalied person may not be equipped enough to handle something as well as a specialized one can.

  这个部分是说在medical这个领域里面  ,通才和专才之间的区别  ,不同的stage需要不同类型的人  。这个例子的好处是不是说特定的人 ,把范围扩展到了更大的一个范围 ,换句话讲就是在一个大范围内有普遍的意义 。

  Another example of a specialist who is needed instead of a generalist involves teaching. In grammar school, children learn all the basic principles of reading, writing, and arithematic. But as children get older and progress in school, they gain a better understanding of the language and mathematical processes. As the years in school increase, they need to learn more and more specifics and details about various subjects. They start out by learning basic math concepts such as addition, subtraction, division, and multiplication. A few years later, they are ready to begin algebraic concepts, geometry, and calculus. They are also ready to learn more advanced vocabulary, the principles of how all life is composed and how it functions. One teacher or professor can not provide as much in depth discussion on all of these topics as well as one who has learned the specifics and studied mainly to know everything that is currently known about one of these subjects.引出了specialists的作用  。

  Generalized teachers are required to begin molding students at a very early age so they can get ready for the future ahead of them in gaining more facts about the basic subjects and finding out new facts on the old ones.

  讲generalists和specialists之间的在学习方面的区别和分工  。这个例子也是没有限定到个人的experience而是从一个一般的角度来论述也有着普遍意义  ,并不是特例 。

  总结一下这两个例子的段落的语言  ,都是比较平实  ,不是很精练精彩  ,只是一般般  。但是表达意思方面却很准确 ,所以不会赢得很高的分数但是也不会失分很多  。中归中矩  。

  These are only two examples of why specialists are not highly overrated and more generalists are not necessary to the point of overshadowing them. Generalists are needed to give the public a broad understanding of some things. But , specialists are important to help maintain the status, health, and safety of our society. Specialists are very necessary.

  最后的总结里面又把两者结合了一下来说两者都是很重要的  。再回忆一下以前说过的文章 ,几乎没有一个文章是完全的否定一个方面来绝对的赞同自己认为正确的一个方面的  ,都是采取辨证的方法来论述的 。这个其实是很好的方法  ,尤其是你自己的思辩的能力  ,对英文掌握的能力没有达到一个非常高的高度的时候  ,用这样两面都说的比较保守的方法是比较保险的  。毕竟我们是在考试 ,求的是一个比较让人满意的分数而不是在参加辩论会  ,一定要绝对支持自己选择的角度(在辩论会里面一般所提供的角度都是绝对化的)  。

  下面我们来一起看看这个ETS的reader来给的评价:

  COMMENTARY

  The essay presents a well-developed analysis of the complexities of the issue by discussing the need for both the generalist and the specialist.

  肯定了这个文章达到了5分作文的要求  。

  This writer's argument is rooted in two extended examples, both well chosen and effective.例证基本上有效的支持了自己的观点  。The first (paragraph 2) begins with a discussion of the necessity for medical generalists (the general practitioner) as well as specialists and moves into an example within the example (breathing problems and the need for an asthma specialist). This extension from the general to the specific characterizes the example in the next paragraph as well. There, the discussion centers on education from elementary to high school, from basic arithmetic to calculus.

  Smoothness of development is aided by the use of good transitions: "but," "usually," and "for instance," among others. The essay ends by revisiting the writer's thesis.

  有连接词来比较smoothly的连接段落句子 。并且结尾呼应了文章的主题  。

  While the writer handles both language and syntax well, some bothersome problems keep this otherwise well-argued response out of the 6 category.

  来陈述既然这么多优点但是为什么没有给评6分的原因 。这个部分大家一定要注意  。

  The problems vary from the lack of a pronoun referent指代不明("When a sickness progresses or becomes diagnosed, he may be referred to a specialist") to an error in parallel structure写平行结构的时候出现的问题("how it begins, progresses and specified treatments"), to loose syntax松散的句式and imprecise language不十分准确的语言("Generalized teachers are required to begin molding students at a very early age so they can get ready for the future ahead of them in gaining more facts about the basic subjects")

  仔细看过同样题目的两个文章大家可以非常清楚的体会到满分文章和5分文章之间的差距 。

  大家准备作文的时候 ,一定要从ETS的评分标准来下手注意提高自己的写作水平  。其实  ,ETS这个5/6分文章的标准恰恰是作为一个effective writer所应该具备的几个条条框框 。如果想让自己在国外的写论文的日子好过点  ,被要求返工的次数少点 ,就要从最基本的地方下手来逐步提高 ,按照这些要求来做 。因为ETS这个GRE WRITING就是测试你是不是具备了一定的写学术文章的能力的  。

  而如果可以在准备这个考试的过程当中全面提高自己的英文写作水平  ,这个对大家在以后的学习日子里面也肯定是受益匪浅的 。

  今天的这个点评就到此为止了  ,大家不要忘记今天你有一个问题需要你来想想  ,就是什么是effective writing  ,你要如何做才会被认为是一个effective writer.这个对写作来讲是一个至关重要的概念  ,必须要知道而且深刻体会的 。