网友的GRE作文点评:Issue 212

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 212:If a goal is worthwhile, then any means taken to attain it is justifiable.”

  Undeniably, it is during the process of continuously pursuing goals that h






uman civilization has developed and enhanced. Recently, there increasingly arise much concern about whether any means taken to attain a worthwhile goal is justifiable. Some people claim that it is reasonable to do anything to achieve it if only the goal was worthwhile. While in my opinion, the key point lies in first, the norm of judging whether the goal is actually worthwhile, and second, the validity of the means to achieve it.(有这样的用法吗  ?有的话就很好了  。)

  First of all, the most direct and effective way to determine whether a goal is worthwhile is to weigh the benefits of achieving it against its cost----- to us as well as to others.好观点  。In order to aptly illustrate this point, let’s take a chemistry factory for a specific example. With respect to a factory, to make the maximum profit via reducing the cost is naturally a worthwhile goal, which is favorable to factory owners, the employees, and even to the customers since the price of the products will be correspondingly lower with the decreasing of the cost to produce them. Nevertheless, at the same time, it may bring some questions such as the noise may disturb the quietness of the residents around the factory, and more importantly, the poisonous chemic gases may threaten the health of the residents.(这些毛病和减低cost有什么关系 ?我说过很多边了  。粒子要详细一点  。和主题集中一点  。比如:为了减小开支 ,factory没有treat polluted water就排放了  。为了减少开支  ,factory没有采取合适的安全措施啊 。为了增加效率  ,让工人昼夜加班  ,很疲劳  ,容易出事故  。雇用童工等等  。) That is to say, the goal is unreasonable and the factory has to draw a proper portion of incomes to treat the noise and the waste. Accordingly, it is necessary and indispensable to take others’interests into consideration when one to set up a valuable goal.我感觉看下来 ,观点不够集中  。我觉得这里你说的并不是什么是决定一个goal是否有worthwihile.而是说  ,不出力噪音和废水来节约开支是不可取的  。你说呢  ?我认为这里可以从可持续发展的例子来说  。但是你如果在nevertheless后加点东东的话就会好多了 。

  Furthermore, during the process of achieving the goal, one must assure that his or her behavior is within the law and the human morality.好观点  。For instance, a student who aims to be the number one of the class can only by means of studying hard or promoting the study effectiveness rather than making tricks in the exams.好  。In a matter of fact, any goal realized by means of lawless intrigues may turn to be futile and ignoble. For supporting examples one need look no further than the Watergate Scandal. In order to be reappointed to be the President of America, Nixon had done something disgraceful in the vote, and later in order to disguise his active role in the Watergate cover-up, he even abused his presidential power to hamper the investigation of Watergate. When ultimately all these were exposed, Nixon had no choice but to resign. Consequently, on matter however great and worthwhile a goal is, the most fundamental principle is that all that one do to achieve it should be legal and virtuous.漂亮  。要再来一段就好了  ,味道正浓的时候突然没了 。就来the validity of means来说  。比如  ,是  ,现在是要保护环境  ,可是关掉全部工厂可行吗  ?人类是要搞定aids,可是用所有的钱来搞它可以吗  ?小行星是有很多矿物质 ,可是现在人类有能力开采吗  ?可以用反问的方式也很有说服力的  。

  In sum, it is essential to realize that a worthwhile goal means not only the more benefits of fulfilling it but also as few as possible disadvantages brought to others, and only by doing our utmost within the law and human morality, can the goal efficiently completed.句子漂亮