一篇被ETS评为3分的典型的问题文章

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 好像以前在这里看到一篇被ETS评过分的ISSUE,是一个考友写的 ,花了10$,打的是3分,我回去好好看了一下,发现确实有一些严重的问题,现在再把他贴出来让大家一起来学习讨论.








  Present your perspective on the issue below, using relevant reasons and/or examples to support your views. "It is important for higher education to challenge established traditions and values."

  What is the purpose of higher education? One important purpose for education is to challenge established traditions and values. I agree with this point. The challenge of established traditions and values will cultivate the students' good characters of creation, and could eliminate some falty values through various of values.

  First,the main purpose of education is not only teach students the existing knowledge and the old traditional values ,but to teach them the creation,to break the old. This is one of the most important characters in one's life.Creative is needed in most of the fields in the society. Traditions, that we may see that some of them have been out of date these days, should be changed. In the college and university, students could air their opinion in an free atmosphere, only through this could students form a habit of critical thinking, and the character of creation will be formed during the discussion of their points of view. Therefore,it is very important for higher education to challenge established traditions.

  Second,the traditions and the values which have been established seems falty in some cases,and college is a place where these falty values could be challenged.The traditional value system,which are formed over hundreds of years, some of them could not be suit to the society nowadays. These value system should be changed. The renewal of the value system could do good not only to the society nowadays,but the development of the society. As it was said above,the college is a place where students could present different opinions and different value systems. In the process of higher education, students could learn different and controversial values systems that maybe different from himself, even some new values that are in controversy with the value that are existed. Through choosing them,they could make a better view point ,both advantage and disvantage, and could formed there own value that are best fit for them.

  However,it should be admitted that higher education should follow the traditions and the values that could benefit our society nowadays. Most of the traditions,with hundreds of years' deposition,however,could still help students to adopt the accurate knowledge, and the proper value syetem. Students should form some of the good traditional values,such as honesty , confidence, enthuiastic and humility. These good values should not be challenged and should not be changed. Only those value that are out-of- date to the nowadays society should be challenged.

  To sum up, Challenging established traditions and values is an important aspect for higher education.Through this, students could be more creative, and could form a sound value system that fits for them and the society nowadays. However, the traditions and the value systems that are still be useful in forming a right knowledge and a value system should not be chanllenged and students still have to learn from them.

  我认为撇开句子问题  ,这篇文章一个最典型的问题就在于通篇都看似在讲道理 ,仔细一读就会发现实则是通篇讲空话 ,说夸张一点就是那种口号式的:“我们应该…..我们要…..我们只有这样做才能……”中间的几个段落中几乎没有能支持其观点的东西  ,讲了一些没用的空话 。

  下面是我临时作的一个类比:

  假设回答这样一个问题:“我们是否应该废除资本主义制度”

  我模仿这篇作文的口吻他的结构就是如下:

  1.是的  ,应该  。

  2.因为我们应该走社会主义  ,所以资本主义不好  ,过时了 。(没有理由)

  3.因为资本主义实行很长了  ,有弊端  ,所以我们应该改  ,即使在路上会有各种情况我们可以长经验  。(没有理由)

  4.当然 ,资本主义的好东西也要保留 ,我们改的是那些应该改的  。(空话,废话)

  5.所以  ,资本主义应该废除 ,只有这样我们才能……但是有的好的也不要废除

  是不是有这种感觉:论证极度无力  !